Be A Voice...... To Help Improve Foster Care In Washington State
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Struggles as a Foster Family?
We are always wanting to bring issues to the CAFPT Meeting that are effecting foster families the most. If you have any suggestions or are struggling or have a thought for change please let us know.
My biggest challenge is not with the kids, and as a therapeutic home I have some challenges, but with state workers and most importantly trying to figure out how to take the new 36 hours of Parenting Plus in addition to the other hours I must have to maintain my license. As someone with a Master's Degree with an emphasis in counseling, as someone who has raised children already and as someone who works in a special education classroom, I find hte requirement superfluous and unnecessary. The times are difficult to fit into my working schedule, either having to take days off from work, or have a extra long day by taking night classes. Additionally, I have to find someone to care for my foster kids. It is very frustrating!!!!!
In Region 3 at the 1624 meeting on Monday they had a schedule that RIFTI had posted to offer those Parenting Plus trainings on nights and weekends. The schedule looked like 3/4ths of those would be happening on nights or weekends. I asked if they would be doing that state wide and they said YES!! SO I will post when the updated schedule comes out.
Childcare-always an issue with foster children. One suggestion that was made was the SW of the foster children can approve respite for the hourly rate for you to go and they write it in the child's plan so it does not count against your 2 respite days a month. Another suggestion was using Certified Respite Providers. They come and provide respite in your home. Would be great if they would provide childcare as it is a required training.
Totally understand your frustration and you are not the only one. It is a 1624 Issue that keeps coming up at the statewide meetings.
We will not be taking the new training. It is too much, too redundant, treats us like we are not knowledgeable, and doesn't provide child care. Our plan is to wait around and hope that others refuse to take it as well. If enough foster homes refuse to take the training, they will have to change the requirement or shut down all the expereinced homes. DSHS has a serious case of ADHD, so they will probably become distracted and change their policy 4 times before the deadline anyway. If it doesn't change, we will not be a foster home anymore. This new policy is ridiculous.
It is sad to hear a therapeutic foster home take such a stand, when we need the most gifted foster parents to be part of the solution. The problem with not having mandated training is that the classes are empty and the foster parents that need to be there are not. We need to build solutions that support every caregivers situation, so I hope frustration doesn't ruin a good home for kids. There are exceptions to the Parenting Plus mandate, if you have already taken Foster Parent Scope or PRIDE, you are not required to take Parenting Plus. A foster parent can also go up the chain of command to get an exemption. Based on anonymous' training and skill set, this would likely be the way to go.
PRIDE is not an exemption to the new training. I AM part of the solution and I don't like being told that I am not simply because I am not in favor of one of DSHS's misguided policies. All they had to do is say that the new training only applied to new foster homes. Then if an experienced home was having a problem, they could be told to take the new remaining as part of the remedy. But instead, we were ALL told to take the training, with no child care or anything, no matter what. That's ridiculous. That's why I am encouraging others to refuse to take the training. If enough refuse, DSHS will have to listen and come up with a better solution. I I really don't like being told that I'm part of the problem when I disagree with something the mighty DSHS has decreed. They are wrong and I have a right to say that if I want without being labelled a problem or traitor. What if DSHS told social workers to take a mandatory training on their own time and too bad for them? Their union would rise up. We need to do the same. And if DSHS doesn't care to listen, then I have the right to stop being a foster parent. They don't own me.
This is why it is hard to reply and be honest, though I appreciate your honest reply. I did not write the above post, but I do agree with the intent of it. We do go out of our way, every day, sometimes many times a day, to make sure the kids placed with us have not just basic care, but everything we can provide to make sure they have the best opportunity for a great adulthood. However, when many of us HAVE to work outside the home, then scheduling redundant classes, having to take days off of work, finding childcare, etc. adds a completely and utterly unnecessary burden on us. I am a therapeutic home and every day is a new adventure in life and I do not need to be told I have to take more trainings, many of which are similar to trainings I have to take for work, or have taken for work over the years. My time is precious and that is not a selfish attitude. I would rather have trainings be topics that apply to what I am doing in my home. I have a child who defies all the "normal" methods of behavior management. I could teach a class on how to deal with those particular behaviors, but don't need to sit in a class that has to be fairly generic in its scope and sequence. The kids are paying the price...when I am spending pointless time in the classroom and not spending it with them.
Another issue which I think needs to be addressed is being told you can't just drop a foster child off at the CA office. I know it can be incredibly inconvenient for the office staff and social workers. But I had an issue with a brand new placement who had already ran away several times days before and then threatened to physically harm a younger and very vulnerable foster child regarding his therapy horse, which he won't get on and use for therapy. So I didn't know how serious to take the child who was threatening others but I felt very unsafe with that child and felt he needed to be dropped off immediately for the well being of the other three younger and the one other older child I have in my care at the time.
When I took him to my local office I was informed by a supervisor positioned SW that. "You can't just leave him here. I don't have any Social workers here. We can't just watch him. Take him back to the office his file is from." I said that I felt he was unsafe to have in the vehicle for an one hour drive to the office of which is file was out of with the other children since he is the one threatening harm on another.
I thought if we were in a crisis like that, that we are suppose to take them to the office. I live 45 mins from my local office and when the incident occurred I was near by. It wasn't serious enough to call the police but I didn't want it to get to that point either.
Shala Crow… We read your blogs, and understand your mission, but in the real world of foster care and kinship providers, how can anyone be honest to the 1624 committee about licensing experiences, foster experiences, or any other subject for fear of retaliation or worse. When you are warned about talking to a 1624 member by a case worker because of “confidentiality issues,” when you turn in your legitimate expenses in for kids in your care and then you hear the comments that you are in it only for the money, when the process of foster and kinship care is run to emphasize the regulations and not the love and nurturing of our future generation to turn them into loving responsible adults, this is wrong. That is probably the reason that in 2007 eshb 1624 was passed. For this process to work, licensers and case workers must be a part of the team and not the boogie man. I would assume that you are human and as such don’t get along with the whole world and all of their ideas. That is the reason we have an elected government who’s goal is to work for the constituents who elected them. But Children’s Administration is not an elected system. Many workers are honest and would do anything to help the kids in their care. It seems that at every function, you see the same caring managers, case workers and support staff. But… the boogie man hides among them. The boogie man hides among us too. We met our 1624 member who was referred to us by our case worker. We were later verbally cautioned against talking to her for confidentiality issues. She cares about the kids in the system and us as caregivers. How effective do you think you can be if you are not allowed to hear the truth? Do you have an attorney to protect you? What about the poor caregiver with a legitimate concern who answers your blog that may mention a boogie man? They do exist. (The effects on the caregiver and the kids can be devastating). Our licensor said he was here only for regulatory purposes and not for the benefit of the kids. (He is not welcome in our home again). Our kids came from a foster home that was closed by the state. (Someone was doing their job.) This being said, we have a healthy family with great kids and just like all families, we have our challenges too. Thank you for doing your job and for caring about the kids in care. Please don’t use my name or enough details to identify me. I am sure I am not the only one with nightmares. Until you can guarantee that you are authorized by the state and that there will be no retaliation to the people who share the information and you have a way to protect yourself… you have a dangerous job and your blog ideas could hurt the kids. We need people like you keep up our moral and to know that there is hope in the system.
I completely agree. We cannot be openly honest when there are real fears that there can be retribution. Also, why be totally honest with an organization that deals with smoke and mirrors and lack of total truthfulness towards us? It is tough and it is not being made easier for people to foster, just harder, which means less people to foster and then the kids suffer.
We got so frustrated at trying to get classes that we started to look outside the box. We found Love and Logic through a private non-profit that supplied childcare and parenting 123 through a Family Center that also provided childcare. When we took the Love and Logic we also had people from Catholic Community Services and people assigned by the court taking the course with us. There are also on line courses through the state.
I do resent the new trainings for those of us who have been foster parents. I understand that the hours can be waived if we had other classes. I did not have those but have had many, many classes on behavior management, social/emotional/cognitive growth patterns of children, Right Response, etc. for my job. I also have a dual Master's Degree which in part is in counseling. I really don't need these classes, especially since I have to keep my hours up with the state and I do that with online trainings, including a great one on Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior Therapy. I don't need the problems created by having to take time from work and finding childcare to sit in a class and hear information I have heard numerous times already. Those of us who have our license should be grandfathered in and the requirement should be for new licensees.
Wow. I agree with the struggles with having to take the new 36 hours of classes. I would not mind taking them online, when the kids are in bed. I take online classwork for my job all the time and I find I love it. I can do it when it is convenient for me and the kids can have all my time after school that they need. I agree we should be grandfathered in and it should be a requirement for new licensees. I have heard from other foster parents that they feel overly burdened and at least one has said she will not renew her license when it expires. It grieves me because she is an extraordinary parent and a fierce advocate for all children. There is a better way to achieve what the state wants and perhaps they need to find it.
The training requirements should be the same for all. If the state places special needs children with you, they need to be honest up front and provide you with the training and tools to deal with it. If you require training to deal with a child then you need the resources and time to learn how. If this requires that you have respite so that you can learn, the state should provide it. These kids are wards of the state. They didn't choose this. Yes, it costs money. Every company I have ever worked for has had to train its employees for special duties. The State should be no different. The problems involved and the expenses involved in getting licensed are keeping good people from helping us show that unconditional love in a family is a real right to children in care. We don't need to make it worse by creating a new class structure in the system. Some people can take classes and learn from them. Others have a harder time applying what they were supposed to learn. Other people can accomplish larger goals through love. I want "my" kids with the second "class of people" any day. Love is all most of these kids need.
I wish love was just enough for our kids. I see many foster families struggling and not having any idea on how to parent and connect with their foster kids. Love is only part of the healing for them. I agree new foster parents need training. I also agree that seasoned experienced foster parents should be grandfathered in. I would much rather see a foster family succeed and not burn out if they could change how they through the training. Many of us have had the level 2,3 and 4 kids. It is not a walk in the park! It is a lot of hard work and dedication and many times seems like a 24/7 job of parenting. I also agree with the need for childcare or the use of hourly respite for these kids if we have to take the training. Respite that does not count against our 2 days a month.
I am hearing what you all are saying. *Childcare needed for the required trainings. *Grandfathering in if your already a licensed home. *Required Trainings are costing families time away from work. *Foster Families feel retaliation exist. *Fear of speaking out.
I think you are hearing right! I am afraid more people will leave fostering because of these issues. I like what someone said that she/he is part of the solution, which I believe we all are when we choose to foster. But....(there's always a but) we cannot keep being overly burdened by these expectations and requirements especially when we do not see the same level of readiness to respond to our needs from the state. We have to respond quickly to state demands, but have to wait for long periods of time to get the state to answer/help us. I know that the numbers of workers, and hours, have been cut, but as in my job in education, we have to find a way to make things work for the BEST for the students because we are in the business of teaching kids. The state (DSHS) is in the business of kids and it seems to forget that far too often. The state seems to have lost sight of the goal and the major objectives...to protect these kids, get them in safe and loving environments and give them the tools to become adults who can hold down a job, have a positive future and who can give back to the world. It is tough all the way around but some changes need to occur on the state level.
There are 2 kinds of fostering. You have the kids brought into care for no reason of their own, who need a safe a loving home. Then you have the kind of kids who are placed with you as their 10th placement. The kid who sneaks out or tries to sneak boys in. The kind who does drugs and tries to talk the other kids in your home to do them as well. The one who sexually harasses the other kids at night and must have an alarm on their door... even though it's not documented and never will be. The kind that steals anything not locked up, pushes buttons, rages, has 'poor hygiene' (to be polite), skips more school than attends and can't spend the night anywhere because they can't make good choices on their own.
So you take this teen in. You do the best you can like you've done before... you supervise everything and smooth the ruffled feathers of the other kids who are trying to follow the rules and 3 months later the rate assessor calls. The child is a two. Really? A two?
And yes... I am suffering from burn out. Dealing with constant disrespect from those who would parent and criticize from afar, from those who have college educations and learned how to parent from a book because they have no kids, from those who have treated me like an uneducated babysitter for the last time. I'm tired of waiting months for the requested referrals to be processed. I'm tired of being told that we all have to make do with less. Really? You had to buy several wax toilet rings this month too? I know what a two is and it's a lot more fun than what I'm dealing with. And I have options. And I am taking the appropriate measures :)
Oh man, I hate when the state seemingly arbitrarity changes the kids levels. Those who make the decisions do not live with these kids, not do deal with them on a daily basis, the highs, the lows and yet they sit in financial judgement. I am tired of hearing that the state is in financial trouble...I get that, I really do. However these kids are not something to be treated lightly. They are our future, the ones we hope will be productive adults with good morals and values, the ones doing the voting and the ones making decisions on our futures. Scary. I am tired of being treated as if I am uneducated, too. Makes me cranky. I am not and I am not new at parenting....have my own grown children, and have grandchildren. I have also worked with kids for years, in different settings and for different reasons. Please respect that I know what I am doing, know what I am talking about and the I know the children you have placed with me. I am tired of being told I have to jump through hoops for these kids, but when I make decisions or when I ask for things I am reminded, "Remember, the state is the legal guardian." Well, then act like it. I never thought about being a foster parent but it happened. I love being a foster parent and don't have plans to stop any time soon, but I can see where I will be worn down by all these requirements and by the lack of support and understanding from the state.
Your not in that of shape. Live a day in the life of a kinship provider with a level 4 and a younger sibling. In addition to your problems, the non-needy grant for your second placement, the level 4, an emergency placement where the child hurt the foster mother, is $80 per month. Before we start griping, let's look at ways to fix the budget so kids in care can be properly funded. Let's brainstorm ideas like having the unclaimed property that is unclaimed for over 7 years sold and used for the kids support. Let's look at the state wac that allows the parents to get off the hook for child support if they make the child legally free. Fix the problem, don't just gripe.
Supervisory approval is required for foster children or youth to be away from the foster home for more than 24 hours and less than 72 hours (i.e. family vacations, camping trips, etc.).
If you trust us with the kids, you should trust us with a weekend away-- giving the children experiences they may not have had before--- museums, camping,...
We do let all workers know where we are going incase something happens, but to have to make sure it gets aproved by the supervisor is a tough one!! We do not even get questions answered...... I am the one who has to stay on top of what needs to be done for the child with no support from DSHS. I usually get a shrug from them.
When we are stopped from having normal family trips and relationships with our families, we are like prisoners on parole. We are looking for an exit strategy from the state that won't hurt the kids. Our kids deserve better.
My wife came up with a suggestion. LOL Everyone sign up for the training when it becomes available.... Then take your kids with you! The new rule says we have to have the training... not that we have to pay for childcare or leave our little angels at home while we are being enlightened.
I think it's important for the state to remain open to outside training qualifying towards our hours. Also, It seems really silly to expect us to take trainings that are during working hours AND without providing childcare. This is not a job for which we are paid, this is a public service we are providing. With licensers rarely or never interacting with foster families except at at relicensing times or when their is a problem, it seems like we are treated as a number rather than a person. Why not have 360 degree reviews for foster parents, rather than all the "trainings" that sometimes seem reduntant and often seem disconnected from the real experience of caring for kiddos. Ask social workers, therapists, the kids, and others who provide services to the kids in our care how they think we're doing. Ask them what areas of training they think we can benefit from and what they think our strengths are. I don't think a standard, one-size fits all approach to training is our best way forward. I also agree the trainings are not at all convenient and relatively few trainings are offered close to home. I do appreciate the online options greatly and believe this takes away almost all excuses for not doing the training.
I would really like to see foster parents providing more of the training. It's so nice to get training from people who you feel like understand. Not just for an "ideal" perspective or a "clinical" perspective, but from a real life, "I've been there" or "I'm in this with you" perspective. I would love to see a process where foster parents could develop a training scope and sequence and submit it for approval and then have the privilege of offering the class to other foster parents (and maybe even getting paid to do so, as we already do so much for free :)
I think the state should proceed with caution. My experience says that many great foster families are choosing not to be relicensed because their are just far too many hoops to jump through and it's a huge burden when you're in the trenches with the kiddos. Then, if you had a speeding ticket 15 years ago, or J walked when you were 18, you have to submit more paperwork to justify it. It feels kind of like a few bad apples have spoiled the whole bunch to the point where in many cases we are splitting hairs about things that don't matter at all.
This is such an important work to be done, and there are not enough foster families. I would love to see us all work together to find ways that build up and encourage foster families, support them, and help to sustain them. I think beginning with the mindset that foster families are volunteers who are providing a critical public service would be a great place to start. Just a thought.
My biggest challenge is not with the kids, and as a therapeutic home I have some challenges, but with state workers and most importantly trying to figure out how to take the new 36 hours of Parenting Plus in addition to the other hours I must have to maintain my license. As someone with a Master's Degree with an emphasis in counseling, as someone who has raised children already and as someone who works in a special education classroom, I find hte requirement superfluous and unnecessary. The times are difficult to fit into my working schedule, either having to take days off from work, or have a extra long day by taking night classes. Additionally, I have to find someone to care for my foster kids. It is very frustrating!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for taking the time to post.
ReplyDeleteIn Region 3 at the 1624 meeting on Monday they had a schedule that RIFTI had posted to offer those Parenting Plus trainings on nights and weekends. The schedule looked like 3/4ths of those would be happening on nights or weekends. I asked if they would be doing that state wide and they said YES!! SO I will post when the updated schedule comes out.
ReplyDeleteChildcare-always an issue with foster children. One suggestion that was made was the SW of the foster children can approve respite for the hourly rate for you to go and they write it in the child's plan so it does not count against your 2 respite days a month. Another suggestion was using Certified Respite Providers. They come and provide respite in your home.
Would be great if they would provide childcare as it is a required training.
Totally understand your frustration and you are not the only one. It is a 1624 Issue that keeps coming up at the statewide meetings.
We will not be taking the new training. It is too much, too redundant, treats us like we are not knowledgeable, and doesn't provide child care. Our plan is to wait around and hope that others refuse to take it as well. If enough foster homes refuse to take the training, they will have to change the requirement or shut down all the expereinced homes. DSHS has a serious case of ADHD, so they will probably become distracted and change their policy 4 times before the deadline anyway. If it doesn't change, we will not be a foster home anymore. This new policy is ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteIt is sad to hear a therapeutic foster home take such a stand, when we need the most gifted foster parents to be part of the solution. The problem with not having mandated training is that the classes are empty and the foster parents that need to be there are not. We need to build solutions that support every caregivers situation, so I hope frustration doesn't ruin a good home for kids. There are exceptions to the Parenting Plus mandate, if you have already taken Foster Parent Scope or PRIDE, you are not required to take Parenting Plus. A foster parent can also go up the chain of command to get an exemption. Based on anonymous' training and skill set, this would likely be the way to go.
ReplyDeletePRIDE is not an exemption to the new training. I AM part of the solution and I don't like being told that I am not simply because I am not in favor of one of DSHS's misguided policies. All they had to do is say that the new training only applied to new foster homes. Then if an experienced home was having a problem, they could be told to take the new remaining as part of the remedy. But instead, we were ALL told to take the training, with no child care or anything, no matter what. That's ridiculous. That's why I am encouraging others to refuse to take the training. If enough refuse, DSHS will have to listen and come up with a better solution. I I really don't like being told that I'm part of the problem when I disagree with something the mighty DSHS has decreed. They are wrong and I have a right to say that if I want without being labelled a problem or traitor. What if DSHS told social workers to take a mandatory training on their own time and too bad for them? Their union would rise up. We need to do the same. And if DSHS doesn't care to listen, then I have the right to stop being a foster parent. They don't own me.
ReplyDeleteDo me a favor stop being foster parent, if you cant go out of your way. The kids are paying the price here.
ReplyDeleteThis is why it is hard to reply and be honest, though I appreciate your honest reply. I did not write the above post, but I do agree with the intent of it. We do go out of our way, every day, sometimes many times a day, to make sure the kids placed with us have not just basic care, but everything we can provide to make sure they have the best opportunity for a great adulthood. However, when many of us HAVE to work outside the home, then scheduling redundant classes, having to take days off of work, finding childcare, etc. adds a completely and utterly unnecessary burden on us. I am a therapeutic home and every day is a new adventure in life and I do not need to be told I have to take more trainings, many of which are similar to trainings I have to take for work, or have taken for work over the years. My time is precious and that is not a selfish attitude. I would rather have trainings be topics that apply to what I am doing in my home. I have a child who defies all the "normal" methods of behavior management. I could teach a class on how to deal with those particular behaviors, but don't need to sit in a class that has to be fairly generic in its scope and sequence. The kids are paying the price...when I am spending pointless time in the classroom and not spending it with them.
DeleteThe kids need better example. They will go farther in life if shown how to express themselves properly.
ReplyDeleteAnother issue which I think needs to be addressed is being told you can't just drop a foster child off at the CA office. I know it can be incredibly inconvenient for the office staff and social workers. But I had an issue with a brand new placement who had already ran away several times days before and then threatened to physically harm a younger and very vulnerable foster child regarding his therapy horse, which he won't get on and use for therapy. So I didn't know how serious to take the child who was threatening others but I felt very unsafe with that child and felt he needed to be dropped off immediately for the well being of the other three younger and the one other older child I have in my care at the time.
ReplyDeleteWhen I took him to my local office I was informed by a supervisor positioned SW that. "You can't just leave him here. I don't have any Social workers here. We can't just watch him. Take him back to the office his file is from." I said that I felt he was unsafe to have in the vehicle for an one hour drive to the office of which is file was out of with the other children since he is the one threatening harm on another.
I thought if we were in a crisis like that, that we are suppose to take them to the office. I live 45 mins from my local office and when the incident occurred I was near by. It wasn't serious enough to call the police but I didn't want it to get to that point either.
Shala Crow… We read your blogs, and understand your mission, but in the real world of foster care and kinship providers, how can anyone be honest to the 1624 committee about licensing experiences, foster experiences, or any other subject for fear of retaliation or worse. When you are warned about talking to a 1624 member by a case worker because of “confidentiality issues,” when you turn in your legitimate expenses in for kids in your care and then you hear the comments that you are in it only for the money, when the process of foster and kinship care is run to emphasize the regulations and not the love and nurturing of our future generation to turn them into loving responsible adults, this is wrong. That is probably the reason that in 2007 eshb 1624 was passed. For this process to work, licensers and case workers must be a part of the team and not the boogie man. I would assume that you are human and as such don’t get along with the whole world and all of their ideas. That is the reason we have an elected government who’s goal is to work for the constituents who elected them. But Children’s Administration is not an elected system. Many workers are honest and would do anything to help the kids in their care. It seems that at every function, you see the same caring managers, case workers and support staff. But… the boogie man hides among them. The boogie man hides among us too. We met our 1624 member who was referred to us by our case worker. We were later verbally cautioned against talking to her for confidentiality issues. She cares about the kids in the system and us as caregivers. How effective do you think you can be if you are not allowed to hear the truth? Do you have an attorney to protect you? What about the poor caregiver with a legitimate concern who answers your blog that may mention a boogie man? They do exist. (The effects on the caregiver and the kids can be devastating). Our licensor said he was here only for regulatory purposes and not for the benefit of the kids. (He is not welcome in our home again). Our kids came from a foster home that was closed by the state. (Someone was doing their job.) This being said, we have a healthy family with great kids and just like all families, we have our challenges too. Thank you for doing your job and for caring about the kids in care. Please don’t use my name or enough details to identify me. I am sure I am not the only one with nightmares. Until you can guarantee that you are authorized by the state and that there will be no retaliation to the people who share the information and you have a way to protect yourself… you have a dangerous job and your blog ideas could hurt the kids. We need people like you keep up our moral and to know that there is hope in the system.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree. We cannot be openly honest when there are real fears that there can be retribution. Also, why be totally honest with an organization that deals with smoke and mirrors and lack of total truthfulness towards us? It is tough and it is not being made easier for people to foster, just harder, which means less people to foster and then the kids suffer.
DeleteI want to take classes, but we need to be able to get child care to able us to attend the classes. Maybe a church group could help out. ?
ReplyDeleteWe got so frustrated at trying to get classes that we started to look outside the box. We found Love and Logic through a private non-profit that supplied childcare and parenting 123 through a Family Center that also provided childcare. When we took the Love and Logic we also had people from Catholic Community Services and people assigned by the court taking the course with us. There are also on line courses through the state.
ReplyDeleteI do resent the new trainings for those of us who have been foster parents. I understand that the hours can be waived if we had other classes. I did not have those but have had many, many classes on behavior management, social/emotional/cognitive growth patterns of children, Right Response, etc. for my job. I also have a dual Master's Degree which in part is in counseling. I really don't need these classes, especially since I have to keep my hours up with the state and I do that with online trainings, including a great one on Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior Therapy. I don't need the problems created by having to take time from work and finding childcare to sit in a class and hear information I have heard numerous times already. Those of us who have our license should be grandfathered in and the requirement should be for new licensees.
ReplyDeleteWow. I agree with the struggles with having to take the new 36 hours of classes. I would not mind taking them online, when the kids are in bed. I take online classwork for my job all the time and I find I love it. I can do it when it is convenient for me and the kids can have all my time after school that they need. I agree we should be grandfathered in and it should be a requirement for new licensees. I have heard from other foster parents that they feel overly burdened and at least one has said she will not renew her license when it expires. It grieves me because she is an extraordinary parent and a fierce advocate for all children. There is a better way to achieve what the state wants and perhaps they need to find it.
DeleteThe training requirements should be the same for all. If the state places special needs children with you, they need to be honest up front and provide you with the training and tools to deal with it. If you require training to deal with a child then you need the resources and time to learn how. If this requires that you have respite so that you can learn, the state should provide it. These kids are wards of the state. They didn't choose this. Yes, it costs money. Every company I have ever worked for has had to train its employees for special duties. The State should be no different. The problems involved and the expenses involved in getting licensed are keeping good people from helping us show that unconditional love in a family is a real right to children in care. We don't need to make it worse by creating a new class structure in the system. Some people can take classes and learn from them. Others have a harder time applying what they were supposed to learn. Other people can accomplish larger goals through love. I want "my" kids with the second "class of people" any day. Love is all most of these kids need.
ReplyDeleteI wish love was just enough for our kids. I see many foster families struggling and not having any idea on how to parent and connect with their foster kids. Love is only part of the healing for them. I agree new foster parents need training. I also agree that seasoned experienced foster parents should be grandfathered in. I would much rather see a foster family succeed and not burn out if they could change how they through the training. Many of us have had the level 2,3 and 4 kids. It is not a walk in the park! It is a lot of hard work and dedication and many times seems like a 24/7 job of parenting. I also agree with the need for childcare or the use of hourly respite for these kids if we have to take the training. Respite that does not count against our 2 days a month.
ReplyDeleteI am hearing what you all are saying.
ReplyDelete*Childcare needed for the required trainings.
*Grandfathering in if your already a licensed home.
*Required Trainings are costing families time away from work.
*Foster Families feel retaliation exist.
*Fear of speaking out.
I think you are hearing right! I am afraid more people will leave fostering because of these issues. I like what someone said that she/he is part of the solution, which I believe we all are when we choose to foster. But....(there's always a but) we cannot keep being overly burdened by these expectations and requirements especially when we do not see the same level of readiness to respond to our needs from the state. We have to respond quickly to state demands, but have to wait for long periods of time to get the state to answer/help us. I know that the numbers of workers, and hours, have been cut, but as in my job in education, we have to find a way to make things work for the BEST for the students because we are in the business of teaching kids. The state (DSHS) is in the business of kids and it seems to forget that far too often. The state seems to have lost sight of the goal and the major objectives...to protect these kids, get them in safe and loving environments and give them the tools to become adults who can hold down a job, have a positive future and who can give back to the world. It is tough all the way around but some changes need to occur on the state level.
DeleteThere are 2 kinds of fostering. You have the kids brought into care for no reason of their own, who need a safe a loving home. Then you have the kind of kids who are placed with you as their 10th placement. The kid who sneaks out or tries to sneak boys in. The kind who does drugs and tries to talk the other kids in your home to do them as well. The one who sexually harasses the other kids at night and must have an alarm on their door... even though it's not documented and never will be. The kind that steals anything not locked up, pushes buttons, rages, has 'poor hygiene' (to be polite), skips more school than attends and can't spend the night anywhere because they can't make good choices on their own.
ReplyDeleteSo you take this teen in. You do the best you can like you've done before... you supervise everything and smooth the ruffled feathers of the other kids who are trying to follow the rules and 3 months later the rate assessor calls. The child is a two. Really? A two?
And yes... I am suffering from burn out. Dealing with constant disrespect from those who would parent and criticize from afar, from those who have college educations and learned how to parent from a book because they have no kids, from those who have treated me like an uneducated babysitter for the last time. I'm tired of waiting months for the requested referrals to be processed. I'm tired of being told that we all have to make do with less. Really? You had to buy several wax toilet rings this month too? I know what a two is and it's a lot more fun than what I'm dealing with. And I have options. And I am taking the appropriate measures :)
Oh man, I hate when the state seemingly arbitrarity changes the kids levels. Those who make the decisions do not live with these kids, not do deal with them on a daily basis, the highs, the lows and yet they sit in financial judgement. I am tired of hearing that the state is in financial trouble...I get that, I really do. However these kids are not something to be treated lightly. They are our future, the ones we hope will be productive adults with good morals and values, the ones doing the voting and the ones making decisions on our futures. Scary.
DeleteI am tired of being treated as if I am uneducated, too. Makes me cranky. I am not and I am not new at parenting....have my own grown children, and have grandchildren. I have also worked with kids for years, in different settings and for different reasons. Please respect that I know what I am doing, know what I am talking about and the I know the children you have placed with me. I am tired of being told I have to jump through hoops for these kids, but when I make decisions or when I ask for things I am reminded, "Remember, the state is the legal guardian." Well, then act like it. I never thought about being a foster parent but it happened. I love being a foster parent and don't have plans to stop any time soon, but I can see where I will be worn down by all these requirements and by the lack of support and understanding from the state.
Your not in that of shape. Live a day in the life of a kinship provider with a level 4 and a younger sibling. In addition to your problems, the non-needy grant for your second placement, the level 4, an emergency placement where the child hurt the foster mother, is $80 per month. Before we start griping, let's look at ways to fix the budget so kids in care can be properly funded. Let's brainstorm ideas like having the unclaimed property that is unclaimed for over 7 years sold and used for the kids support. Let's look at the state wac that allows the parents to get off the hook for child support if they make the child legally free. Fix the problem, don't just gripe.
ReplyDeleteWhat an idea.. people responsible for their own problems. Not the place, but could we start a blog to brainstorm fixing the state budget?
ReplyDeleteSupervisory approval is required for foster children or youth to be away from the foster home for more than 24 hours and less than 72 hours (i.e. family vacations, camping trips, etc.).
ReplyDeleteIf you trust us with the kids, you should trust us with a weekend away-- giving the children experiences they may not have had before--- museums, camping,...
We do let all workers know where we are going incase something happens, but to have to make sure it gets aproved by the supervisor is a tough one!! We do not even get questions answered...... I am the one who has to stay on top of what needs to be done for the child with no support from DSHS. I usually get a shrug from them.
Agree
DeleteWhen we are stopped from having normal family trips and relationships with our families, we are like prisoners on parole. We are looking for an exit strategy from the state that won't hurt the kids. Our kids deserve better.
ReplyDeleteMy wife came up with a suggestion. LOL Everyone sign up for the training when it becomes available.... Then take your kids with you! The new rule says we have to have the training... not that we have to pay for childcare or leave our little angels at home while we are being enlightened.
ReplyDeleteI think it's important for the state to remain open to outside training qualifying towards our hours. Also, It seems really silly to expect us to take trainings that are during working hours AND without providing childcare. This is not a job for which we are paid, this is a public service we are providing. With licensers rarely or never interacting with foster families except at at relicensing times or when their is a problem, it seems like we are treated as a number rather than a person. Why not have 360 degree reviews for foster parents, rather than all the "trainings" that sometimes seem reduntant and often seem disconnected from the real experience of caring for kiddos. Ask social workers, therapists, the kids, and others who provide services to the kids in our care how they think we're doing. Ask them what areas of training they think we can benefit from and what they think our strengths are. I don't think a standard, one-size fits all approach to training is our best way forward. I also agree the trainings are not at all convenient and relatively few trainings are offered close to home. I do appreciate the online options greatly and believe this takes away almost all excuses for not doing the training.
ReplyDeleteI would really like to see foster parents providing more of the training. It's so nice to get training from people who you feel like understand. Not just for an "ideal" perspective or a "clinical" perspective, but from a real life, "I've been there" or "I'm in this with you" perspective. I would love to see a process where foster parents could develop a training scope and sequence and submit it for approval and then have the privilege of offering the class to other foster parents (and maybe even getting paid to do so, as we already do so much for free :)
I think the state should proceed with caution. My experience says that many great foster families are choosing not to be relicensed because their are just far too many hoops to jump through and it's a huge burden when you're in the trenches with the kiddos. Then, if you had a speeding ticket 15 years ago, or J walked when you were 18, you have to submit more paperwork to justify it. It feels kind of like a few bad apples have spoiled the whole bunch to the point where in many cases we are splitting hairs about things that don't matter at all.
This is such an important work to be done, and there are not enough foster families. I would love to see us all work together to find ways that build up and encourage foster families, support them, and help to sustain them. I think beginning with the mindset that foster families are volunteers who are providing a critical public service would be a great place to start. Just a thought.